Your hair’s properly styled, you have a new outfit on and there’s a reservation at the hottest spot in town with your name on it. After all that hard work it would be a shame to drive up to your date’s house in a vehicle so terrifying she or he either faked an illness or called the police. For those in the dating game and prone to driving unique vehicles, we present this helpful list of ten cars guaranteed to scare away a chance of a new relationship before the date even begins. Penske Automotive Group’s just trying to help Cupid out.
10.) Hummer H1
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: On the off chance your date is an environmentalist, the gas guzzler is likely to be a displeasing site. Also, the tough-looking H1 might make you look wimpy.
What It Says About You: The H1 is simultaneously a gigantic SUV, a convertible and shines like a piece of jewelry. This truck says you’re insecure, overspend and are probably going through a midlife crisis.
Alternative: Consider the Hummer H2, same insecurity and gas mileage at half the price.
9. 1970s Pontiac Trans Am
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Over 40 years the vintage car has lost some appeal now that Burt Reynolds not behind the wheel. Pull up in this ride and you will seem cheesy.
What It Says About You: You got this car as a 16th birthday present and it was the coolest thing that happened to you since your parents let you live in the basement. Unfortunately, you still live in your parent’s basement.
Alternative: Nothing says cool guy from the 1970s like the much classier GTO.
8. A Hearse
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Come on, no one likes the sight of a death wagon pulling up to their door step. Though the hearse offers spacious and luxurious appointment, your date isn’t going to get close enough to the vehicle to appreciate those facts.
What It Says About You: You are creepy. You watch horror films constantly. You work at a funeral home.
Alternative: If you can get your hands on a hearse you can probably get your hands on a normal luxury car. You can even get it in black.
7. Soccer Mom Minivan — Any Make Or Model
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: In the dating game you usually want to exude fun and full of life personality. Minivan is the best way to convince date you are successful and have thirst for life
What It Says About You: You have kids and therefore are likely a divorcee. If you claim you don’t have kids you’re probably lying and cheating on your significant other.
Alternative: Most parents are driving SUVs maybe time to upgrade.
6. Can-Am Spyder Trike
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Not quite a motorcycle and not quite a car but always a conversation starter. Unfortunately, the conversation starts with “where do I sit on that thing?” and ends with “I’m not going to get that close to a stranger.”
What It Says About You: You’re macho enough to want the thrill of open-air driving but not skilled enough or cool enough to ride an actual motorcycle.
Alternative: A Mazda Miata offers open-top thrills and seat-of-your-pants driving without the awkward closeness and bad hair day.
5. Old Cadillac Limo
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Picking up your date in a new limo with a driver is a little cliche, but showing up as the driver of your very own limo is just sad. Who wants to ride up front in a limo?
What It Says About You: You want to pretend like you’re rich but you’re really not.
Alternative: A used Lincoln Town Car makes you look like a businessman, not a poser.
4. Custom Painted Van
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: A custom van, especially one with a built-in bed instantly sets off bells that you have an agenda. Add layers of custom paint and you’ve outdated yourself.
What It Says About You: I live in a collective art colony.
Alternative: Vanning is so old maybe it’s time for a SUV.
3. AMC Gremlin
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: While your date shouldn’t fault you for driving an economy car, there may be an issue with you driving one of the original economy cars. Not even as cool as a Pacer, the Gremlin is not a cool classic like a vintage Mustang. It’s just an old, cheap car.
What It Says About You: You picked up an extra shift working at the comic book store so you could splurge and super-size your order at McDonalds.
Alternative: At least a vintage Pacer has the novelty of having starred in Wayne’s World.
2. Panel Van
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Unless you own a florist shop or bakery, the used panel van is historically the vehicle of choice for criminals and deviants.
What It Says About You: You may have seen me on America’s Most Wanted or To Catch A Predator.
Alternative: Try the versatile Hyundai Santa Fe or Scion xB.
1. Off-Duty Taxi Cab
Why Penkse Doesn’t Recommend: Your date will be expecting you to get out of the back; when you get out of the front she or he’s going to turn off the lights in house. Cabs typically smell like feet and are covered in used gum.
What It Says About You: You’re only partially employed. You have no room for upward employment. You like to work nights because you’re awake anyway.
Alternative: Follow any major U.S. city taxi driver play book and get a electric vehicle like Leaf or Volt.